[ it's rough, watching him cry. he's just a kid, and she's so angry that he has to suffer this, that any of this is happening at all. it's not justice and it's not fair and - yeah, life's not fair, but she kind of just wanted it to be, for him. for asch.
she pulls him close and holds him in her lap, tucking him in close, smoothing his hair back. ]
You're okay. [ she whispers. ] Breathe, kiddo. [ and she rocks him, gently, letting him get it out. ]
[ he just clings to her, because Beau is one of the few safe harbors he's going to have left when asch is gone, and--
god, he can't deal with that knowledge at all.
it takes a WHILE for him to calm down enough to even talk, forget stop crying. a couple minutes will pass in silence, with her calming and him trying to be calm, and mostly failing. eventually his tears slow enough that he can breathe without it being on a sucking, horrible sob. ]
We killed him, Beau. We're killing him.
[ never mind he's losing it all over again, fare thee fucking well. ]
[ she presses a kiss to his forehead, still rocking him. ] We're not. Okay? We're not. This was stacked against us from the start. This is not your fault.
I don't want you to take it on you. That's too heavy for just you to hold, babe.
But it is! I know I'm no good at this, I've never been any good at figuring out--secret stuff like this! But if I was--! If I was, then--!
[ god. the kiss to the forehead just ... even though he listens to everything else she has to say, that's what really stays with him, the familial familiarity, the warmth of it. ]
No. [ she says, firmly, nudging him. look at her. ] I told you what my job was back home, right? This is my job. Rooting out secrets, finding things out? That's my job, and I couldn't fucking do it.
So if some stupid-ass adult whose job it is to find secrets couldn't do it, why should you be expected to? Huh?
Fuck Master Blue. [ she's firm. ] We'll keep trying. We're going to keep going because that's all we can do, but - let me tell you what Lio said to me that's kept me moving.
You'll break your back trying to carry shame for things you have no choice in. So don't think this is a personal failing. We do better next time.
... yeah. I don't even know everything about that, but I picked up on some stuff. He's had it pretty hard.
[ ... ]
He's a good guy, Beau. And you know I wouldn't say that unless I meant it! Given... you know. [ the beating up of the child. ] He's prickly and a jerk and can be a really ridiculous idiot, but ... he's not a bad person at all. He was gonna teach me. And now, I'm ... I'm never gonna see him ever again.
I mean - there's magic, at home, in Exandria. And people bring people back from the dead all the time. So. It's a long fucking shot, but if I can just get Jester here.
[ there has to be something. and if there isn't: ] I have a backup plan after that. It'll work out.
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she pulls him close and holds him in her lap, tucking him in close, smoothing his hair back. ]
You're okay. [ she whispers. ] Breathe, kiddo. [ and she rocks him, gently, letting him get it out. ]
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god, he can't deal with that knowledge at all.
it takes a WHILE for him to calm down enough to even talk, forget stop crying. a couple minutes will pass in silence, with her calming and him trying to be calm, and mostly failing. eventually his tears slow enough that he can breathe without it being on a sucking, horrible sob. ]
We killed him, Beau. We're killing him.
[ never mind he's losing it all over again, fare thee fucking well. ]
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[ she presses a kiss to his forehead, still rocking him. ] We're not. Okay? We're not. This was stacked against us from the start. This is not your fault.
I don't want you to take it on you. That's too heavy for just you to hold, babe.
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[ god. the kiss to the forehead just ... even though he listens to everything else she has to say, that's what really stays with him, the familial familiarity, the warmth of it. ]
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So if some stupid-ass adult whose job it is to find secrets couldn't do it, why should you be expected to? Huh?
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still-- ]
Because that's what this place wants. What Master Blue wants. And if we don't get better, people keep dying, every week. Every week.
[ the thought of this becoming a true tradition is--chilling. beyond words. ]
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You'll break your back trying to carry shame for things you have no choice in. So don't think this is a personal failing. We do better next time.
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eventually he loops his arms around her neck and hides his face in her shoulder. ]
... will you go with me tomorrow? [ when they ... walk to the execution. ]
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Yeah. Yeah, of course I will. I'll be right there with you the whole time. [ she swallows hard. ]
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this is a real admission, raw as hell: ]
I dunno if I can watch. But I feel like if I don't, I'll be disrespecting his wishes.
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[ she rests her head against his. ] You do what you think you gotta, but nobody's going to blame you for whatever you choose.
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[ ... ]
... hey, Beau. I know things started out pretty rough between you two, but ... what do you think of Asch now?
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that's a good question. she's quiet for a while. ] He reminds me of a friend I had. The one who gave me those tarot cards.
I haven't seen whatever you see in him, but he's not a bad guy. I think I could've... I think I could've liked him eventually.
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[ ... ]
He's a good guy, Beau. And you know I wouldn't say that unless I meant it! Given... you know. [ the beating up of the child. ] He's prickly and a jerk and can be a really ridiculous idiot, but ... he's not a bad person at all. He was gonna teach me. And now, I'm ... I'm never gonna see him ever again.
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[ a pause. ] Maybe you will see him again. Don't count on anything yet.
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What? What do you mean?
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[ there has to be something. and if there isn't: ] I have a backup plan after that. It'll work out.
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Isaac will sit straight, rubbing at his face. There's a certain gravity to the look in his eyes. ]
... where I'm from, it's ... it can be dangerous, to cling to the dead. There are consequences for that kind of thing.
[ ... ]
I just hope your plan will work.
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[ she sighs a little. ] You leave it to me, okay? And I'll depend on you to help me when I can't do it on my own.
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he'll nod, seriously. ]
I trust you, Beau. And ... I'll help, whatever I can do.
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[ fuss, fuss. ]
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slowly ... he takes her hand, and will eventually let her get him to his feet. ]
Let's ... go back.
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