[ he finds her in the arts and crafts room, and he just sounds ... burnt out mostly lmfao. he'll wander over to her and just. find someplace close to flop. ]
[ yeah, burnt out is a room. she's settled down near the clay, playing around with it, so when isaac comes close she hums happily, making space for him to sprawl out against her side or in her lap if he wants to. ]
Today was weird. [ she agrees, maybe a little sleepily. ] We did it, but it still doesn't feel right.
[ oh good. tbh he absolutely takes the option of lap, because he's Tired. ]
Nope. Doesn't, huh? I talked to Lio about that last week. Even when we win it doesn't feel like it. Probably because all this is happening anyway, and it still hu--
[ ... ]
I'm gonna go find Ayabe later, [ he says, more quietly. ]
[ "is a room" i meant mood, god dammit. anyway. she's just gonna put the clay away and wipe her hands off so she can pet his hair, then. huff. ]
It still hurts. [ she says, confirming. ] I think he'd appreciate it. He's gonna stay up with Dazai tonight.
[ a long pause. ] You know, a friend of mine back home told me it's okay not to be too sad. If you're not as sad, it means you can take care of the people you love when they break.
I'm glad you can keep going. [ she tells him, and she does genuinely sound happy at that. she's still petting his hair absently. ]
I think I can keep going too. I think I have to, right? Can't just lay down and let Blue win. [ she's thinking along the same lines. there are definitely a few people here that she cannot lose. she thinks, as she watches isaac quietly for a moment, she might destroy everything in her path if he died. ]
I'm glad you wore the necklace to trial. [ she says, lips twitching. ]
[ she grins a bit at him aimlessly playing with her hand, letting him! cute. ]
Yeah, I know. I believe it. [ somehow, when isaac says it, she really does. she's quiet for a moment - there's a flash of memory, something short, something hazy, beau grabbing a raggedy ginger in a dirty coat and pulling him into a hug, a green half orc practically doubled over in embarrassed laughter as beau reads a particularly raunchy passage from an erotica novel; and the feeling of warmth and safety as she settles down for the night, surrounded by her friends.
she huffs, and then laughs. ]
Fuck, you know, I actually forgot that was a thing for a second.
[ By the end of it Isaac is smiling too. One of those was, uh, embarrassing, but didn't last long enough to be an actual issue. Mostly he just got the impression of warmth from all of those that she must be feeling when she laughs. ]
It was happening during the trial. [ His smile falters, and he looks up at the ceiling instead. ] Brilith and ... uh, Agni? Man, I'm not used to calling him that. They had something happen.
[ she says, firmly, looking at him after a moment. ] But I think I'm not exactly - you know, I don't know how well you know Hunter? But there's this thing about the both of you that I really like, admire, and it's how much fuckin' empathy you both have.
It's really good. I'm proud of you, for being able to understand, but I don't think I'm built like that. I don't think there's a single thing she could say to me that would make me not angry.
Throughout the whole memory, Isaac is goofier than he's been here in the mansion, but he's also meaner. Noticeably so, snapping at Isabel twice, then making demands of Max.
"You OWE me! You--"
"Yeah OK I'm stopping you there. If that's how you're framing things, I'm gonna need you to back up and try again, because that's not how being my friend or anyone's friend works."
The memory ends there. ]
... heh. I wasn't sure you'd see that one, but that's the one I was thinking of.
Listen, Beau... I know you think I'm like this nice person but... I'm not, okay? I was ... I was awful to my friends back home. I know that now. Maybe we could have worked things out if I'd ever just talked to them, but ... I didn't. I just put my feelings first and kept getting mad about everything and things just ... broke. I broke them. After what I've done, I wouldn't be surprised if they were done with me.
[ ... a sigh. ]
What I'm trying to say is that ... if you're trying to compare yourself to me, then you're already way better than I ever was.
[ she looks unhappy again at the end of it, still holding his hand. ]
First of all, I don't wanna hear that shit from you. [ she actually just reaches to pinch his cheek with her free hand. ] Good and nice are different things. I know you think I'm some sort of role model, but if you could see the shit I've done and the stuff I've said -- there's a reason I thought I'd be a shitty older sister, babe.
[ a pause. ]
The fact that you had to dig up a memory to show me how much of an ass you supposedly are just makes me think you're growing. Which you should be. You're still a kid, and I'm not saying that to belittle you. It's just that I'm a grown-ass woman. There's a difference, you can't compare us because you're still figuring your shit out.
I know. I wouldn't want anybody else as my brother. [ she brushes his hair out of his face one more time, and then takes his hand. ] I really am okay.
I'm just mad because there's bigger shit to deal with, you know? Someone died. And someone else is going to die tomorrow. I get that whatever she went through was big. But she's not the only one who has suffered or gone through shit, and fucking fighting us in the middle of a trial was bullshit.
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[ he finds her in the arts and crafts room, and he just sounds ... burnt out mostly lmfao. he'll wander over to her and just. find someplace close to flop. ]
... today was weird.
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Today was weird. [ she agrees, maybe a little sleepily. ] We did it, but it still doesn't feel right.
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Nope. Doesn't, huh? I talked to Lio about that last week. Even when we win it doesn't feel like it. Probably because all this is happening anyway, and it still hu--
[ ... ]
I'm gonna go find Ayabe later, [ he says, more quietly. ]
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It still hurts. [ she says, confirming. ] I think he'd appreciate it. He's gonna stay up with Dazai tonight.
[ a long pause. ] You know, a friend of mine back home told me it's okay not to be too sad. If you're not as sad, it means you can take care of the people you love when they break.
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must be part of having a sibling now, he thinks.
Isaac is quiet for a moment after she says that. ]
It's ... weird. Since Asch died, nothing else has hurt me that bad. No matter what happens, I feel like I can keep going for now.
[ that might change if, like, say ........ beau herself died, but we're pretending that's never ever ever ever ever gonna happen, ok? ok. ]
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I think I can keep going too. I think I have to, right? Can't just lay down and let Blue win. [ she's thinking along the same lines. there are definitely a few people here that she cannot lose. she thinks, as she watches isaac quietly for a moment, she might destroy everything in her path if he died. ]
I'm glad you wore the necklace to trial. [ she says, lips twitching. ]
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until she says that and he locks up a little before turning red and looking away, which is super ineffective when he's laying in her lap. ]
You said-- I mean, I figured... since it's for protection, I should keep it on me.
[ not like they both know it won't work since they're not in Beau's home, but it's the principle of the thing, right ]
... we're gonna win, Beau. I dunno how right now, but we will.
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Yeah, I know. I believe it. [ somehow, when isaac says it, she really does. she's quiet for a moment - there's a flash of memory, something short, something hazy, beau grabbing a raggedy ginger in a dirty coat and pulling him into a hug, a green half orc practically doubled over in embarrassed laughter as beau reads a particularly raunchy passage from an erotica novel; and the feeling of warmth and safety as she settles down for the night, surrounded by her friends.
she huffs, and then laughs. ]
Fuck, you know, I actually forgot that was a thing for a second.
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It was happening during the trial. [ His smile falters, and he looks up at the ceiling instead. ] Brilith and ... uh, Agni? Man, I'm not used to calling him that. They had something happen.
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Yeah. I was busy, but I heard the tail end of it. Did you end up taking her back to her room?
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Yeah. I talked to her for a while, too. ... I know you were mad, Beau, but ... she went through something pretty bad.
[ he seems reluctant to say what. ]
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[ her voice shakes just. a tiny bit. ] I don't care, I don't want to hear anybody making it our responsibility to kill them.
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[ The hand he was playing with is now one he's just holding, looking up at her with concern. ]
I know. I was upset too. Just, after finding out why? [ He makes a face. ] I'm not mad at her for it, that's for sure.
[ .... coming from someone who is always mad about everything, that says a lot. ]
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I guess I'm going to have to ask her about it then. [ she says, looking away. ]
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[ A pause, and Isaac will finally sit up, positioning himself at her side instead. ]
Hey, are you okay?
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[ she says, firmly, looking at him after a moment. ] But I think I'm not exactly - you know, I don't know how well you know Hunter? But there's this thing about the both of you that I really like, admire, and it's how much fuckin' empathy you both have.
It's really good. I'm proud of you, for being able to understand, but I don't think I'm built like that. I don't think there's a single thing she could say to me that would make me not angry.
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He'll take her hand again, taking a breath and shutting his eyes. He seems to be focusing on something.
The memory kicks in moments later.
"Heyy, Isaac, what's up? How's the weather?"
"... run along, Isabel."
Throughout the whole memory, Isaac is goofier than he's been here in the mansion, but he's also meaner. Noticeably so, snapping at Isabel twice, then making demands of Max.
"You OWE me! You--"
"Yeah OK I'm stopping you there. If that's how you're framing things, I'm gonna need you to back up and try again, because that's not how being my friend or anyone's friend works."
The memory ends there. ]
... heh. I wasn't sure you'd see that one, but that's the one I was thinking of.
Listen, Beau... I know you think I'm like this nice person but... I'm not, okay? I was ... I was awful to my friends back home. I know that now. Maybe we could have worked things out if I'd ever just talked to them, but ... I didn't. I just put my feelings first and kept getting mad about everything and things just ... broke. I broke them. After what I've done, I wouldn't be surprised if they were done with me.
[ ... a sigh. ]
What I'm trying to say is that ... if you're trying to compare yourself to me, then you're already way better than I ever was.
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First of all, I don't wanna hear that shit from you. [ she actually just reaches to pinch his cheek with her free hand. ] Good and nice are different things. I know you think I'm some sort of role model, but if you could see the shit I've done and the stuff I've said -- there's a reason I thought I'd be a shitty older sister, babe.
[ a pause. ]
The fact that you had to dig up a memory to show me how much of an ass you supposedly are just makes me think you're growing. Which you should be. You're still a kid, and I'm not saying that to belittle you. It's just that I'm a grown-ass woman. There's a difference, you can't compare us because you're still figuring your shit out.
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[ DON'T PINCH HIS CHEEK JESUS????????????? will... just rub his face whenever she lets go ]
... Beau--
[ sigh. he clearly still feels bad, not meeting her eyes for a second, but...
... he will eventually smile at her. ]
You're ... [ a breath ] You're great, okay? I ...
[ wow, he's bad at this. his mouth works. ]
I wouldn't want anyone else as my sister. Role model or not. Just... remember that, okay?
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I know. I wouldn't want anybody else as my brother. [ she brushes his hair out of his face one more time, and then takes his hand. ] I really am okay.
I'm just mad because there's bigger shit to deal with, you know? Someone died. And someone else is going to die tomorrow. I get that whatever she went through was big. But she's not the only one who has suffered or gone through shit, and fucking fighting us in the middle of a trial was bullshit.