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Oh, hey! Akira!
[ It's sometime after those weird... maid girls?... showed up and weren't actually that helpful at all.
Isaac will trot over to him, hailing him with a little wave.
He's still got the monocle on, btw.
ANYWAY he looks kinda ... awkward? hm. shuffles. ]
You, uh... I mean... uh, you free?
[ nailed it. ]
[ It's sometime after those weird... maid girls?... showed up and weren't actually that helpful at all.
Isaac will trot over to him, hailing him with a little wave.
He's still got the monocle on, btw.
ANYWAY he looks kinda ... awkward? hm. shuffles. ]
You, uh... I mean... uh, you free?
[ nailed it. ]
[WHO KNOWS WHERE THEY ARE, IT IS A MYSTERY. but Akira slows to a stop to crane his head over his shoulder when he hears his name]
Isaac?
[the monocle looks ridiculous]
[(he will not be so mean as to ruin this poor kid's love of monocles, tho)]
Ah-- yeah, I'm free. Do you need something?
Isaac?
[the monocle looks ridiculous]
[(he will not be so mean as to ruin this poor kid's love of monocles, tho)]
Ah-- yeah, I'm free. Do you need something?
[ He actually takes the monocle off to fidget with it. But he'll actually step up by Akira's side, meaning to join him. Maybe they can wander while they talk? He does seem pretty restless. ]
... not really. I just wanted to ask you something, I guess.
[ a pause, for a moment. he's staring at the floor. ]
How are you so calm about all of this? All of this... I don't know, everything.
... not really. I just wanted to ask you something, I guess.
[ a pause, for a moment. he's staring at the floor. ]
How are you so calm about all of this? All of this... I don't know, everything.
Edited 2020-02-15 23:17 (UTC)
[they can wander! as if sensing Isaac's restlessness, Akira dips his hands into his pockets and starts walking again. where are they going, nobody knows. . . probably they're just idly drifting from room to room]
Hm. . .
[the question gets a quiet pause from Akira, whose gaze flickers away as he debates on exactly how much he can share, here. the truth is. . . he's way too used to weird things like this happening]
I know that panicking or freaking out won't help anything. That's how.
[and that's part of it, too]
I guess you could say I'm a little. . . practiced at this sort of thing.
Hm. . .
[the question gets a quiet pause from Akira, whose gaze flickers away as he debates on exactly how much he can share, here. the truth is. . . he's way too used to weird things like this happening]
I know that panicking or freaking out won't help anything. That's how.
[and that's part of it, too]
I guess you could say I'm a little. . . practiced at this sort of thing.
[ Automatically Isaac trails after him, clearly not even thinking about it. He never looks up, his gaze staying on his feet, sort of implicitly trusting Akira to guide them.
But he'll look up at that last line ]
That's the thing! I am too! This isn't even the weirdest thing that's happened to me this week! ... not even close, honestly.
[ wh ]
It's just ...
[ this time he looks ahead, his brow furrowed before his gaze slowly falls back to the floor ]
... I dunno, aren't you upset about ... being taken from our homes? ... I dunno.
[ he seems a little frustrated by his inability to put his issue into words. ]
But he'll look up at that last line ]
That's the thing! I am too! This isn't even the weirdest thing that's happened to me this week! ... not even close, honestly.
[ wh ]
It's just ...
[ this time he looks ahead, his brow furrowed before his gaze slowly falls back to the floor ]
... I dunno, aren't you upset about ... being taken from our homes? ... I dunno.
[ he seems a little frustrated by his inability to put his issue into words. ]
[wh]
[OKAY AKIRA WILL PUT A PIN ON ASKING ISAAC ABOUT HIS ADVENTURES LATER, because for now, he needs to focus on the rest of this conversation. his smile is a bit lopsided, a bit sheepish]
I am.
[of course he is. of course he hates being taken away from his friends-- from his family-- in the middle of their victory road trip. of course he hates being kidnapped (and regardless of what Peach says about him having accepted an invitation, he thinks this is a kidnapping) and brought to this mysterious mansion against his will, without his permission]
[of course he does. of course]
And I want to do whatever it takes to go home. To help everyone here make it back home.
[a breath]
But I have to approach it one step at a time.
[OKAY AKIRA WILL PUT A PIN ON ASKING ISAAC ABOUT HIS ADVENTURES LATER, because for now, he needs to focus on the rest of this conversation. his smile is a bit lopsided, a bit sheepish]
I am.
[of course he is. of course he hates being taken away from his friends-- from his family-- in the middle of their victory road trip. of course he hates being kidnapped (and regardless of what Peach says about him having accepted an invitation, he thinks this is a kidnapping) and brought to this mysterious mansion against his will, without his permission]
[of course he does. of course]
And I want to do whatever it takes to go home. To help everyone here make it back home.
[a breath]
But I have to approach it one step at a time.
[ His fidgeting grows so restless he drops the monocle. He makes a sound of irritation, chasing after it, crouching down to snatch it up.
.... but he stays there for a moment, crouched. ]
Is there anybody here you know?
[ Isaac pushes to his feet, not looking back at the other boy. ]
I've been ... I've been looking around, and ... you haven't seen a, uh, a man with blond hair and like, sunglasses who hide his eyes, or anything?
.... but he stays there for a moment, crouched. ]
Is there anybody here you know?
[ Isaac pushes to his feet, not looking back at the other boy. ]
I've been ... I've been looking around, and ... you haven't seen a, uh, a man with blond hair and like, sunglasses who hide his eyes, or anything?
[Akira stops walking when Isaac runs off to chase the monocle, and that question. . . well. the pause Akira gives before answering is extremely palatable]
There is someone I know here, yes.
[but he doesn't elaborate. not yet. not now. that situation was a little too complex]
And I haven't. I'm sorry. [his own features soften, taking on a more sympathetic nature as he wonders who this man could be] Is this person someone important to you?
There is someone I know here, yes.
[but he doesn't elaborate. not yet. not now. that situation was a little too complex]
And I haven't. I'm sorry. [his own features soften, taking on a more sympathetic nature as he wonders who this man could be] Is this person someone important to you?
There is?
[ Isaac turns, surprised, and for an instant there's hope--
--immediately extinguished by the answer to his question. His fingers curl around the monocle, forming a shaking fist, and he makes a sound like tch, looking away once more. ]
... you could say that. I just ... needed to make sure he was alright. That's all. It's ... fine.
[ Isaac turns, surprised, and for an instant there's hope--
--immediately extinguished by the answer to his question. His fingers curl around the monocle, forming a shaking fist, and he makes a sound like tch, looking away once more. ]
... you could say that. I just ... needed to make sure he was alright. That's all. It's ... fine.
[another pause]
Who is he?
[asked gently, a little coaxingly, but in a way where Isaac can refuse to answer if he wishes. Akira won't drag it out of him, but he is curious]
Who is he?
[asked gently, a little coaxingly, but in a way where Isaac can refuse to answer if he wishes. Akira won't drag it out of him, but he is curious]
[. . . ?]
I won't. I promise.
[and Akira is good at keeping his promises]
I won't. I promise.
[and Akira is good at keeping his promises]
[ .... ]
I ... I made a mistake. Again.
[ he sounds very bitter. a little angry. after a moment: ]
It's just that he might be hurt and I need to-- if he is, I need to make sure he--
...
[ shrugs, suddenly mute. he's ... pretty visibly upset. ]
Guess it doesn't matter, huh.
I ... I made a mistake. Again.
[ he sounds very bitter. a little angry. after a moment: ]
It's just that he might be hurt and I need to-- if he is, I need to make sure he--
...
[ shrugs, suddenly mute. he's ... pretty visibly upset. ]
Guess it doesn't matter, huh.
[oh no. . .]
[Akira has no idea what this "mistake" is, but he reaches out to drop his hand-- not on top of Isaac's head, that might be too patronizing-- but on his shoulder]
No. It matters.
[he gives that shoulder a small squeeze]
I'm sorry. I wish there was a way for us to check on the people we know who aren't here.
[he wants to say that it's okay, but. . . Akira isn't one for useless platitudes. but he can show sympathy and offer comfort, if any of that helps]
[Akira has no idea what this "mistake" is, but he reaches out to drop his hand-- not on top of Isaac's head, that might be too patronizing-- but on his shoulder]
No. It matters.
[he gives that shoulder a small squeeze]
I'm sorry. I wish there was a way for us to check on the people we know who aren't here.
[he wants to say that it's okay, but. . . Akira isn't one for useless platitudes. but he can show sympathy and offer comfort, if any of that helps]
[ oh, is
this what it's like to have someone actually validate your feelings?
because wow, that's a new thing for isaac. really new. as has become a thing, he stares at akira in abject confusion, but it doesn't last long before, to his horror, his eyes flood with tears. ]
this what it's like to have someone actually validate your feelings?
because wow, that's a new thing for isaac. really new. as has become a thing, he stares at akira in abject confusion, but it doesn't last long before, to his horror, his eyes flood with tears. ]
[ he makes a sound and ducks his head, roughly swiping an arm over his eyes. and he nods furiously, showing the agreement he can't voice because he knows tears would betray him. ]
It's...
[ his voice wavers and he sucks in a breath, lifting his head. his face isn't wet, but his eyes still are. ]
... it's not fine, but. Yeah. I wish that, too.
Guess we just ... have to get out of here, huh.
It's...
[ his voice wavers and he sucks in a breath, lifting his head. his face isn't wet, but his eyes still are. ]
... it's not fine, but. Yeah. I wish that, too.
Guess we just ... have to get out of here, huh.
[there's definitely something about the tears that tugs at Akira's heartstrings, and he gives Isaac's shoulder another squeeze]
It's not fine.
[he acknowledges, and he isn't trying to be pessimistic. for as calm as he's been about everything, he knows that it isn't fine]
But we will make it fine. All right?
[and there's a bit of that Kurusu determination]
We'll find a way out of here. I'll do everything within my power to make sure of that, okay?
It's not fine.
[he acknowledges, and he isn't trying to be pessimistic. for as calm as he's been about everything, he knows that it isn't fine]
But we will make it fine. All right?
[and there's a bit of that Kurusu determination]
We'll find a way out of here. I'll do everything within my power to make sure of that, okay?
You can't.
[ this is sharp, like a rebuke. ]
You can't just ... make things fine again. How do you not know that? Some things can't be fixed. Some things, when they break, you can't put them back together again. You just can't. How can you-- how can you stand there and act like you can just make everything better if you work hard enough? Are you delusional?
[ his voice gains heat and volume as he goes. it's very clearly not akira he's actually angry with. this bite, the bitterness, it's all directed inward. he clutches his chest. ]
[ this is sharp, like a rebuke. ]
You can't just ... make things fine again. How do you not know that? Some things can't be fixed. Some things, when they break, you can't put them back together again. You just can't. How can you-- how can you stand there and act like you can just make everything better if you work hard enough? Are you delusional?
[ his voice gains heat and volume as he goes. it's very clearly not akira he's actually angry with. this bite, the bitterness, it's all directed inward. he clutches his chest. ]
[oh dear]
[taking Isaac's other shoulder in his hand now, and-- well. he's definitely not in a position to talk about whether Isaac deserves to be forgiven or not. whether his situation-- whatever it is-- is something that can be fixed]
[but honestly. . . he doesn't think that matters]
. . . you're right. Sometimes you do.
[oh]
Sometimes things are so broken you can't fix them, or make them better, or put them back together again.
But in those situations, making it "fine" isn't about fixing things. It's about learning from your mistakes and being better.
[giving both of those shoulders another squeeze]
It's about doing better. Because as long as you're alive and breathing, as long as you can move and make choices for yourself, you can be better.
Do you understand?
[taking Isaac's other shoulder in his hand now, and-- well. he's definitely not in a position to talk about whether Isaac deserves to be forgiven or not. whether his situation-- whatever it is-- is something that can be fixed]
[but honestly. . . he doesn't think that matters]
. . . you're right. Sometimes you do.
[oh]
Sometimes things are so broken you can't fix them, or make them better, or put them back together again.
But in those situations, making it "fine" isn't about fixing things. It's about learning from your mistakes and being better.
[giving both of those shoulders another squeeze]
It's about doing better. Because as long as you're alive and breathing, as long as you can move and make choices for yourself, you can be better.
Do you understand?
[ God.
It's the first time someone's finally said it. He's wanted to hear it for so long, but now that someone has finally had the mercy to say the words, it feels like a suckerpunch to the chest. Like the end of the world. Like what he deserves.
Sometimes you do.
Thank god.
It hurts.
Akira's got both hands on Isaac's shoulders and it makes him feel like he can't back away. And Akira's taller than he is, a lot taller, feels like an adult but isn't actually, feels so much older and wiser and
more
in control
than isaac
ever could be
And he wants to break into pieces. He's been scared since the moment he got here and all that terror, untreated, roiling beneath his skin, pours out of him now. The tears spill over and he can't really hide. ]
I was supposed to. After-- after Dim. Dimitri.
[ Ah. ]
And then-- and then Mr. Spender, I-- it wasn't supposed to be so much, I try to control it every time and it was only supposed to be a little bit and--
Why can't I ever be better? I try, I really keep trying, I try so hard and all I ever do is-- is hurt them. The, the club, and now Mr. Spender is paying for my mistakes, and I don't--
If I hurt him I don't think I can fix it...! It's like I don't know how to--
I understand! I understand that I can't...! I can't be better! I know it! Or I wouldn't keep doing this!
It's the first time someone's finally said it. He's wanted to hear it for so long, but now that someone has finally had the mercy to say the words, it feels like a suckerpunch to the chest. Like the end of the world. Like what he deserves.
Sometimes you do.
Thank god.
It hurts.
Akira's got both hands on Isaac's shoulders and it makes him feel like he can't back away. And Akira's taller than he is, a lot taller, feels like an adult but isn't actually, feels so much older and wiser and
more
in control
than isaac
ever could be
And he wants to break into pieces. He's been scared since the moment he got here and all that terror, untreated, roiling beneath his skin, pours out of him now. The tears spill over and he can't really hide. ]
I was supposed to. After-- after Dim. Dimitri.
[ Ah. ]
And then-- and then Mr. Spender, I-- it wasn't supposed to be so much, I try to control it every time and it was only supposed to be a little bit and--
Why can't I ever be better? I try, I really keep trying, I try so hard and all I ever do is-- is hurt them. The, the club, and now Mr. Spender is paying for my mistakes, and I don't--
If I hurt him I don't think I can fix it...! It's like I don't know how to--
I understand! I understand that I can't...! I can't be better! I know it! Or I wouldn't keep doing this!
[ His journey from the lounge to his room is a deeply fraught one. Isaac’s hunched over, ducking his head and staring intensely at the floor as he all but sprints upstairs. What would people say if they saw him like this?
But it’s that very thought that stops him at his door. What are Nia and Ash going to think? This is a disaster. Everyone... everyone’s going to be so angry...!
Swallowing, Isaac backpedals away from his door, desperately casting about the hallway in search of some answer. Something. Anything.
Which is when he spots a door bearing a plaque with a familiar name.
Isaac makes a beeline straight to it, but ... doesn’t immediately knock. Instead he hovers there, shifting from foot to foot, just ..... lingering .... awkwardly .... in the doorway ....
whisper-hissed: ]
Akira??
[ yeah he can definitely hear that through the door Isaac ]
But it’s that very thought that stops him at his door. What are Nia and Ash going to think? This is a disaster. Everyone... everyone’s going to be so angry...!
Swallowing, Isaac backpedals away from his door, desperately casting about the hallway in search of some answer. Something. Anything.
Which is when he spots a door bearing a plaque with a familiar name.
Isaac makes a beeline straight to it, but ... doesn’t immediately knock. Instead he hovers there, shifting from foot to foot, just ..... lingering .... awkwardly .... in the doorway ....
whisper-hissed: ]
Akira??
[ yeah he can definitely hear that through the door Isaac ]
[. . . YEAH HE DEFINITELY CANNOT HEAR THAT THROUGH THE DOOR]
[but luckily for Isaac, some late-night restlessness (perhaps being cooped up in a giant building for two days is finally starting to get to him) has Akira needing to wander, so. despite not hearing the whisper? the door to his and Chuuya's room opens mere seconds later, with Akira standing at the entrance, stripped of the fanciest parts of his suit (he's now only wearing the pants, the shoes, and the blue undershirt with sleeves rolled up) and looking-- well. needless to say, he starts once when he sees Isaac, because he hadn't expected anyone to be waiting for him outside]
[behind him, further into the room, Isaac can see that the single bed has been stripped bare and there there's a sort of pillow fort set up with the chaise and the dresser]
-- Isaac?
[what the fuck, dude]
[but luckily for Isaac, some late-night restlessness (perhaps being cooped up in a giant building for two days is finally starting to get to him) has Akira needing to wander, so. despite not hearing the whisper? the door to his and Chuuya's room opens mere seconds later, with Akira standing at the entrance, stripped of the fanciest parts of his suit (he's now only wearing the pants, the shoes, and the blue undershirt with sleeves rolled up) and looking-- well. needless to say, he starts once when he sees Isaac, because he hadn't expected anyone to be waiting for him outside]
[behind him, further into the room, Isaac can see that the single bed has been stripped bare and there there's a sort of pillow fort set up with the chaise and the dresser]
-- Isaac?
[what the fuck, dude]
Ah!
[ Isaac startles back, the motion forcing him to straighten up and lift his head, and ... oh boy.
The most noticeable thing is the blood, still wet, smeared across his throat. There’s not a lot of it, to be fair, and whatever caused it doesn’t seem serious; if he’s even still bleeding at all, it’s very sluggish, very little. But the bright red is stark against his skin.
There’s an abrasion on his head, just beside his temple, red and angry and already purpling. With one hand he clutches his shoulder, and the skin of that hand is a livid red across the knuckles. They, too, are already purpling into bruises. Both his hands have got the same weals.
Basically it’s pretty clear someone decided to kick the crap out of him and succeeded in doing so!
Isaac himself is at a loss for words, his mouth working silently until he manages: ]
... I didn’t know where else to go.
[ Isaac startles back, the motion forcing him to straighten up and lift his head, and ... oh boy.
The most noticeable thing is the blood, still wet, smeared across his throat. There’s not a lot of it, to be fair, and whatever caused it doesn’t seem serious; if he’s even still bleeding at all, it’s very sluggish, very little. But the bright red is stark against his skin.
There’s an abrasion on his head, just beside his temple, red and angry and already purpling. With one hand he clutches his shoulder, and the skin of that hand is a livid red across the knuckles. They, too, are already purpling into bruises. Both his hands have got the same weals.
Basically it’s pretty clear someone decided to kick the crap out of him and succeeded in doing so!
Isaac himself is at a loss for words, his mouth working silently until he manages: ]
... I didn’t know where else to go.
[. . . Akira doesn't know who Dimitri is, and not having the entire context for Isaac's freak out means that he isn't quite sure what the senseless rambling means. but he isn't going to let confusion stop him from trying to help. he wants to help, because right now all he sees is a panicked kid who's terrified out of his mind, both because he's been kidnapped and because of things that had happened to him before the mansion, and there's absolutely no way he can let this kid go out there and fend for himself in a house full of strangers]
Hey. Hey. . . deep breaths.
[by now, Akira has crouched down onto Isaac's level in an attempt to be less intimidating]
Deep breaths. Try to calm down.
Hey. Hey. . . deep breaths.
[by now, Akira has crouched down onto Isaac's level in an attempt to be less intimidating]
Deep breaths. Try to calm down.
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